I drempt that Bill Gates was crying in my arms and, to comfort him, I said, “You are my father,” and he pulled away and said, “That’s too far.”
Father Bill
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Mairzy Doats and Dozy Doats
I dreamt with the children’s nursery rhyme “Mairzy Doats” as the song track throughout my dream: Mairzy doats and dozy doat and liddle lamzy divy. Akiddly divy do, wouldn’t you?”
[For the uninitiated adults, “Mares eat oats, and does eat oats, and little lambs eat ivy. A kid’ll eat ivy too, wouldn’t you?”]
Boot tongues
I dreamt that my daughter’s job was to stick her hand into dirty, smelly contractors’ work boots and straighten out the tongues.
Pony pet
I dreamt that my neighbor brought a pony home from the animal shelter squished into the back seat of her hatch back.
Beverage hierarchy
I dreamt that I was swimming in a pool that had a long counter of coffees available. I swam passed, in ascending quality in my waking opinion, Starbucks, then Keurig, then Dunkin’ hot, then Dunkin’s iced, until I came to a refrigerator of sodas, and chose a Coke.
Dead credenza
I dreamt that I helped three guys in Grateful Dead hoodies steal a credenza.
SVU
I dreamt Mariska Hargitay was lying on a bathroom floor dying but couldn’t reach the Comet cleanser that she needed to eat to survive.
Puppies
I dreamt that there were just SO many puppies.
Recycling on high
I dreamt that I was told my recycling had to be hung in plastic bags high up in trees and someone had to stand under each one overnight until the recycling truck came. I refused, but Will Smith said that he would standunder one of mine and Matthew McConaughey said he would stand under the other.
Fainting
I dreamt I was on a SoulCycle bike and I was fainting off to the side. A hand came up from behind me and steady me. I never saw her, just felt her hand and when I could look behind me I was in a dark empty room with just my bike in it.
[The fainting feeling was so real and I experienced slow blacking out in my mind.]
